Saturday, January 08, 2011

Things to do with a Thong



Back in 2009, Cosmo ran a typically hard-hitting piece titled "Fun Little Tricks Guys Love" which effectively beat Readymade at its own game by suggesting that women repurpose their thong underwear into a ponytail tie in order to get things cooking in the bedroom. (You see, straight men are apparently so sensitive to the presence of thong underwear in a room that they can be influenced by its intrinsic powers even as it serves a completely unsexy, transmogrified function like hair collection! Whoa!) Here are five more ways to repurpose your thongs for a successful Date Night, Cosmo-style:

5. Sexy Headband!
4. Sexy Bracelet!
3. Sexy Necklace!
2. Sexy Ring!
1. Sexy Tourniquet!

(Tune in next month for seven secrets to a successful bath, and our top five tricks for passing gas silently at the office!)

6 comments:

kim @ pineapplemint said...

No man I've ever dated gave two hoots about thong underwear, on top or bottom. I guess Cosmo is saving up its "men really don't notice anything" article until they've exhausted all their useless sex tips.

Lauren Bordelon said...

Imagine explaining to your office mates that you contracted pinkeye during foreplay, but never even got undressed.

And in case ya'll didn't notice, that woman is wearing drawers as a scrunchy.

Eileen said...

AHAHAHA. This is by far one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen.

MAB Jewelry said...

I have products specifically manufactured for turning my hair into a ponytail. I also don't really want to wear undies on my head.

Amanda / Rust Belt Threads said...

ew. was "get a sexy yeast infection" on the list too?

Jessica / Lola Vintage Clothing said...

I hearts ya! And look forward to your posts weekly!