Meanwhile, at J Crew...

Your move, Forever 21.

Don't Put A Bird On It, Please

Just found these soy 'duck' and 'chicken' abominations hidden behind some Trader Joe's black beans in our pantry. The Boy has some 'splainin to do. In the meantime, we're going to go flush our eyes with some industrial grade acid.

Gamming It Up

So wrong that it's totally right.

Let's Play "Wet Seal or Stripper Supply Co.?"!

We haven't been to a Wet Seal since 1990 (the last year, incidentally, that our mother insisted on accompanying us to the mall for our back-to-school wardrobe), so imagine our surprise when we visited WS's virtual storefront upon reading about the infamous spelling gaffe and discovered that the proto-H&M of our youth is now virtually indistinguishable from every major stripper supply boutique on the web. No biggie, really, 'cept that Wet Seal has a 'Homecoming' section that suggests its core demographic is more familiar with babysitters clubs than their gentleman's variant. To prove our point, we've juxtaposed a Wet Seal item with a common (and generally more expensive) stripper costume. See if you can tell the difference! (answers below)

Six Designer Jean Products We Hope Not to Find Under the Tree This Year

We think it's safe to say that each of these represents $200 grossly misspent.

Breaking News: Shakira Can't Dance

We kind of secretly like Shakira's "She Wolf" (it sounds like a Hercules and Love Affair jam, OKAY?!!), but we'd never seen the video--or any Shakira video, really--until last night. Though we quickly moved past the fact that she's dancing in a big sparkly vagina that exists just beyond her gracious walk-in closet (why not?) in a cheap, 1970s do-me leotard (sowhatwhocares?), we couldn't really wrap our minds around the dancing. What the hell is going on there? Are none of her handlers willing to tell her that she looks like Celine Dion in a private dance-off with herself?

On Pins & Needles (In Your Skin)

Can anyone explain to us the above image from a 1960 Angel Face Cosmetics advertisement? It would appear that the model's brooch is anchored to her bare flesh, but surely this isn't the case! Surely she's not suffering that much to look "lovely in lime" and "marvelous in mauve!" Right?!

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Like Most of the World's Workers, We Missed Boss's Day

. . . so we'd like to take this opportunity to properly honor these benevolent handmaidens of Capital:

You Decide!

Is this:

a. an A&E promotional image for the second season of Sister Wives?

b. a still from a fetish porn film staring Faithful Cock?

c. a photo of a vintage dress currently for sale on Etsy?

If you guessed "C", congratulations! Your eye for authentic vintage is sharper than a bag of beef jerky at your local Wisconsin Target.

(Also, it bears repeating that everyone is going as a hoarder for Halloween this year):

(keyword search traffic to this blog on 10.26.10)