Now Available at the Goodwill: The Goodwill

(image via Reddit)

That's right! More crap to dig through at your local thrift thanks to some clever hipster with a Polaroid 2 camera and a few courses in French Film Theory under his belt. Until this turns into a chintzy mise en abyme of Suzy Perette dresses, we remain unimpressed.

We Went To The Alameda Antique Fair & All We Got Was This !?$%# Sunburn

... oh, and some smashing vintage dresses and maillots. What to keep, what to keep.....??

We Came. We Saw. We Thrifted.

Melissa of Purple Deer and I traveled to the exotic Oakland suburb of Fremont yesterday to meet thee luhvely Theresa of Verseau Vintage for an afternoon of 'power thrifting.' If you live in the area, don't bother hitting up the local thrifts any time soon because we absolutely laid waist to the shops. Melissa snatched up all the florals, Theresa scooped up all the modern avant pieces, and I nabbed all of the groovy modish garments. TRUST.

Thrifter's Delight

Pictured Above: The most beloved (and yet curiously unsold) item in my shop according to Heart-O-Matic

Today the unthinkable happened at my fantastic neighborhood charity thrift shop.

I WAS ASKED IF I'D LIKE TO LOOK THROUGH THE RACKS AND BOXES OF CLOTHING IN THE RECEIVING ROOM.

"Sure," I said, trying to look cool but feeling, in reality, like I'd just been offered an exclusive ticket to the moon.

I looked around and quickly found a box containing what appeared to be the estate clothing of a wealthy woman with exceptional taste. I selected a few pieces and gathered together my finds in order to make my way to the cashier. Then something even more glorious happened.

I WAS ASKED WHAT I WANTED TO PAY FOR THESE ITEMS.

This stressed me out a bit since I don't particularly like to haggle at charity shops, so I offered slightly less than what I was accustomed to paying for similar artifacts in the store (thinking that perhaps the volunteers might like to liven up the workroom with an impromptu game of Let's Make A Deal). To my surprise, however, each of my offers was greeted not with protest but delight. Then something even more splendid happened.

I WAS TOLD TO "JUST TAKE A FEW THINGS" (LIKE A CORSET BRA SLIP WITH A METAL ZIPPER).

Now I can't help but wonder which of my other many dreams might soon come true. (That's right, Paul Rudd. I'm looking at you.)