From Pinhead to Conehead

Poor lil Sassy Mae scratched her eye up last night...

Say Anything

Not long ago I fell down a strange rabbit hole that eventually led me to a now-defunct blog begun solely for the purpose of letting its visitors anonymously post questions about, well, anything. As you can probably imagine, this little experiment did not go well, and was ended, according to the final post, due to visitors' inability to generate inquires of a civilized nature.

Well, Gentle Readers, I have more faith in you, so ask away. I promise to answer all of the questions (be they personal or general) that accumulate here in an upcoming post that will once and for all prove the depth of my self-absorption.

I'll start!

YOU: Did you cry during the James Cameron abortion Titanic?

ME: As did you, I'M SURE.

Open Letter to SPIKE TV

Pictured Above: Single scariest shot in all of American cinematic history (courtesy of Deliverance)

25 January 2010

To Whom It May Concern:

I might have respected your decision to edit out the notorious and narratively integral rape scene in last night's cable broadcast of John Boorman's classic 1972 story of white bourgeois masculinity in crisis were it not for the fact that you are the same network that brought the world a little "show" called Manswers and a little segment on said show that culminates in a man firing a gun at a breast implant in the name of answering the daft question: How much force is required to burst a fake boob? Obviously taste is not among your channel's top priorities, so why julienne a perfectly excellent film?

If I have overstepped my boundaries in issuing this letter because I am a woman viewing "TV for men," then I sincerely apologize.

Respectfully,

Distracted Academic

Oh HAil No

I thought this was pretty obnoxious...

until, that is, I saw this:

"Rear Gear Butt Covers: No More Mr. Brown Eye"

(Full disclosure: I wipe my dog's 'brown eye' after she parks some bark because the poor thing can't ever seem to shake off the last dingleberry, but this anal veil seems largely unnecessary, no? Perhaps I am just too working class to fully appreciate its inessential brilliance.)

Current Etsy Obsession: Margaux Lange

Fellow Bay Area vintage clothier Zwzzy turned me on to Margaux Lange's Etsy shop last week when she tweeted about her favorite piece from Margaux's collection (it's the sideburned-Ken doll kissing his beloved, btw), and I haven't been able to stop thinking about these fantastically whimsical and sardonic wearable fine art trinkets ever since. Finally, an example of (post)feminism that I can endorse (you know, in case you're keeping tabs)!

More Look-At-My-Tits Feminism

I recently watched the 2007 abortion The Babysitters because it was one of the few movies not starring 'film' actress Jennifer Aniston that I hadn't seen and could view instantly! on Netflix. A messy and unintentional pastiche of Mean Girls, Fat Girl and Girls Gone Wild, this film isn't the worst thing to happen to feminism since Lady GaGa, but it is one of the most tedious.

Instant viewer beware.

Pictured Above: Head babysitter-cum-madame, Shirley (Katherine Waterston)